Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Family and Kenpo

Last night, after reviewing a bunch of the Kenpo forms and sets with my students, I battled it out with one of my top black belts, Scott Southwell. This isn’t anything unusual, as Scott and I fight full contact at least once per week together. We usually fight after an already exhausting night, whether it be because of kicks drilled up and down the floor, techniques with resistance on partners, forms and sets training, or hand drills. As a 6th degree black belt, I try my best to lead by example, by not just telling my students how to move, but by getting out there and doing it with them.

After going home last night, I thought about my training routine, which is a literal 7 days per week. I acknowledged that the reason why I put my body through such rigorous activity (and sometimes pain) in Kenpo is simply because I value the art so much.

What about the other areas of my life? Do I truly value the marriage that I have with my wife Chantel? I do, but I am always striving to make it better. I love her to no end, and because of that, I need to commit time to be with her, to recognize her needs, and to continue to grow in our marriage. I need to continue to step up to the plate with my children, by being the father that God intended me to be, and to help Chantel out whenever possible with our children. Marriages that our built on martial arts first, and then family second, will likely not survive, and if they do, it won’t be the joyful marriage and family atmosphere that you and your wife both deserve.

It’s easy for us to say that we BELIEVE that we should put our families before martial arts, but does it show in our actions? Since obtaining my Kenpo Karate black belt in 1990, I have taught literally thousands of different kids. What I am seeing over the years, unfortunately, is growing proportion of children that are growing up without a father. Some of these fathers are long gone, and want little to nothing to do with their children anymore. Other fathers were physically abusive, either to their wife, children, or both. Still others turned to alcohol and drugs as “escapism”. They blame their wife saying, “It was her fault”; the reality is that they took the drink and the drink took them.

What do you value in life? I value God and my family FIRST. And when I fail that order (which is sometimes the case), I sit, think, and pray about change for the better. “Till death do us part”…those are BIG words. And every day I get out of bed, I face them.